When I was 7 years old I knew what I wanted to be.  I was absolutely sure about my purpose on this planet.  As I have gotten older, I realize what a gift that was.  I see many people searching for their purpose asking “why am I here?”.  I knew why I was here and yet my dreams and goals were not coming to fruition.  I had accomplished some things that I was proud of and that from the outside may have seemed impressive.  But for me, it was not enough, I had much bigger expectations for myself and my life.  At first my lack of progress was motivating, like a challenge.  But after decades, it became discouraging, frustrating and very confusing.  Some people may have thought, “I guess I was wrong about what I’m meant to do”.  But not me, I was sure what I was here to do, but the fact that it was not happening made me crazy. It was baffling.  I knew I was stuck. My thoughts at times were very dark.  I felt like a loser.  It was as if there was a secret that I didn’t know.  That the doors to a bigger life were closed to me, or invisible.  

When you see someone who has something you desire… success, money, love, notoriety, clarity of purpose, do you want what they have or do you want to be the person who has it?  Ask yourself this honestly.  I will say it another way.  Let’s use a generic example, it does not matter if this applies to you specifically, you can insert any “thing” into this scenario.  If you see someone who “has a million dollars”, do you think “Man, I wish I had a million dollars.” or do you think, “I wonder what I could do to earn a million dollars.”  

Example #1 puts the focus on the "thing".  Example #2 puts the focus on you.

The first example might continue like this:  “Why does that guy have a million dollars?  I work just as hard as he does.  Probably harder.  Some people are just lucky.  I deserve to be rich too.  I should have a million dollars.  He probably does something illegal or immoral and thinks he’s better than everyone else.”

The second example might continue like this:  “That guy is a millionaire, wow.  That’s inspiring.  How can I earn a million dollars?  I wonder what that guy does each day, where he started, how he thinks, how he conducts himself.  I wonder what I’m doing that might be holding me back.  I do work hard and yet I’m not seeing the results I want, so what could the reason be?  I’m going to talk to some people like this guy and ask them.  Because I know if I had the answer myself I would be there by now.”

When I went from being the guy in Example #1 to being the guy in Example #2, my life radically changed.

The first example is riddled with self pity, entitlement, lack of responsibility, arrogance and an attitude that is not open to new information, learning or evolution of any kind.  In order to justify this resistance to growth, the whole rest of the world has to be made out to be wrong, unfair and against them.  Otherwise, this person would be forced to own their own life and look at things with an open mind which would inevitably place the responsibility of their choices on their shoulders, which they are too terrified to even consider.

The second example is someone who is open to change.  A person with humility and recognizes that they don’t have all the answers and is willing to be taught.  Willing to say, “I don’t know,” and more importantly, to ask for help.  They are not concerned with outside appearances, they are committed to inner transformation.  Rather than being seen as the guy in the fancy car, they want to have a level of success that would allow them purchase that car, if they so desired.  Rather than resenting, blaming and hating people who have what they want, they are willing learn from them and to ask themselves what they can do differently to have a better life.  

It’s not about the “thing”, it’s about being the person who attracts the “thing”.  Growth is why we are here and every situation is pushing us, gently or forcefully, to evolve and grow into the people we desire to be.  Resistance is what hurts.  We cannot combat the force that created the Universe.  Seriously, think about it.  We can only surrender to it and say "OK".  Our job is to have our sights set clearly on what it is we desire.  The Universe or God already knows, this part of the process is for us to clear our minds and have clarity of purpose.

As you step into 2019, I would like you to consider these 2 examples and take a loving look at yourself.  Which one are you?  You could be a part of both.  Who do you want to be and what do you want your life to look like in this new year?  Anything is truly possible.  It starts with you.