NETWORKING 101
Not Getting Calls For WORK? You Need To Grow Your Network.
(PART I)
Networking for our purposes means talking face to face with other people in your industry. Technology has made many things easier, quicker and more efficient. However, there is nothing like speaking to someone in person. Another aspect of this process that is so valuable, is the act of motion. Literally getting up off your couch, putting on pants, walking out your door, driving somewhere, and so forth. Physically moving energy is a key ingredient to manifesting a bigger life. This is the one area where I find the most resistance from coaching clients. They have an unlimited amount of excuses as to why they can’t find the time. The fact is, it doesn’t matter. You want a bigger life, you need to take new actions. And why are you so resistant to this action? That’s something worth doing some writing around.
With all of the different aspects of my career, the greatest value comes from the relationships I have built over the years. After all the phone calls, texts, emails and hand shakes are gone, the one thing I am left with is a list of exceptional people who are my friends. I wish the same for you. But the friends you will make in this business will not be like your high school friends or the people you grew up with. These are different kinds of relationships. These are professional relationships. These aren’t the people you’re going to ask to help you move a couch. It’s more about camaraderie like people who have served in the military together. Not comparing rock and roll to protecting our country! But there are similarities in the kind of bonds that are made.
Creating A Top 10 List
Who is living your dream? This can include people who are a few steps ahead of you and it can include people who seem like they are a lifetime away. List them on a piece of paper. You should be able to come up with way more than 10. Once you feel like you’ve listed everyone who came to mind, go back through the list. Circle all the names of people who really stand out to you as exceptional. Put a line through anyone who was not as exciting as the others. Arrive at a solid 10 names.
Take a look at this list. How would it feel to call these people friends, to work with them, to be hired by them, to collaborate? Think about it. Imagine it. Let it sink in! Feel good? Then let's get to work and make it happen!
THE ACTION
1. Make your Top 10 List. I suggest writing it by hand.
2. Create a grid so you can keep track of everything. Both Mac and Windows have programs that allow you to create a grid or spread sheet. You can use Google docs which is cool because you can access it from anywhere if you have wifi. See the example below.
In column #1, list your 10 artists. In column #2, list any connection you may have to them, people who know them, ways that you may have access to them. In column #3, list what actions you can take, anything. In column #4 write what you’ve done, when and notes about a follow up.
Part of this process is practical, the other part is an act of faith. How is my talking to Mary going to get me to work with Dave Grohl? Do you have a better idea? If so, then do it. If not, then do something, anything to move you closer to your goal. Faith is not a guarantee, it’s Faith. We take actions based on our dreams in Faith that the Universe is listening, and it is. You do what you can towards your goals and then you let go of the results. Wait, what? Yes, let go of the results. It’s like taking all the ingredients for a cake, mixing them together and putting it in the oven at the recommended temperature, closing the door, setting the timer and walking away. If you sit there and stare through the glass, opening the oven door every 5 minutes, chance are you’re going to mess it up and at the very least your time will not be spent in an enjoyable way.
Do your work, all of it, to the best of your ability and then let it go. Let the Universe do the rest. Not being able to do this falls under an over inflated idea of self-importance. Me? Yes, you. Thinking you can control the entire Universe and that without your constant attention things will not works out. Actually the opposite is true, trust me, I’ve tried it both ways.
You only need to know the very next action, not the one after that. As you take the action, have that conversation with Mary, listen to her words, listen to your intuition, if you do, you will get a clear direction as to your next step. Write that down and do it immediately, without hesitation or deliberation. When I decided to go back to playing drums and become a hired gun, I asked a friend of mine who had a good gig with name artist what he would recommend I do. He said, “Dude, you’re a great drummer, people just need to see you play.”. That’s all he said. So I searched each word for a direction. If people just need to see me play, what situation would allow me to play in front of people as soon as possible? I could get a local gig, but that requires times and a lot of other factors. How about open jams? So I looked for some. I found one that was about 1 hour north of me. I drove there every Tuesday night for months. Most times it was dead, but I kept going back. I got to play and I did meet some people. That lead to playing with Ace Frehley. It also started relationships with musicians who I call friends to this day and who I enjoy playing with.
Do something, do anything, now, towards making your dreams a reality and forget what you know. If you had all the answers, you would be writing this yourself and I would be reading it! Trust me, trust the intuition that lead you here and trust life. Now get to work.
(PART II)
Self Assessment
Take a look at your Top 10 List. What qualities do these people have? Do you have the same? Why are they successful? What do you admire about them? Look past the fortune and fame and try to see the artist, the musician, the worker behind the star. This will be easier to do with non-entertainment figures. For example, I’ve been a KISS fan since age 8. Gene Simmons was a crazy, blood spitting monster to me as a kid. As I got older I saw him as a songwriter and bass player. Later in life, another part of his personality emerged. I didn’t like that part as much. Gene cultivated a public persona of an arrogant, wealthy and womanizing rock star. But behind that character, Gene is a hard working, focused man who is living his dreams, inspiring millions of people and making tons of money. He is also a business partner with Paul Stanley, a successful relationship of over 45 years. His public personality is not the point, that’s for the public. If you’re to see these people as colleagues, don’t let their level of success mystify you, be objective and see how you measure up.
THE ACTION
Spend an hour Googling your Top 10 List. Read Interviews with them, look at their Wikipedia page, get to know them, understand them, get a feel for where they come from and how they work. Some will be easier to figure out than others. Make a list of the qualities that come to mind for each artist. See any similarities between them? Ask yourself if you have those same qualities. If not, what can you do about it? Remember not to get caught up in the public persona, look for the work ethic and mindset of each person.
Note: This is the same process for any business. If your goal is be a successful lawyer, plumber, deep sea diver, painter, or local business owner. Look for the success stories and study them. Know that you can do the same if you’re willing to dedicate yourself to change.
How To Network In Person
Once you have connected with others in your industry that you admire, it’s time to hang out. This is not like going out with your high school pals. This is a business meeting, treat it as such. I like daytime for this reason. If it’s someone you’ve known for many years, evening for a drink can be cool, but stay focused. For women, I would definitely keep these meetings to daytime business hours to avoid any misconceptions.
Here are a few guidelines:
Do not be late
Ask about the other person
Do some research via their social media page to see what they’ve been up to
Do not talk about yourself unless asked
Do not complain
Do not ask them for work
Do not tell them how hard your life or career are and that you really need help
What do you want to get out of the meeting? Think about any questions you may want to ask them. “How did you go from being a local musician to touring?” “How do set your rate when talking to clients?”, etc. Are there any opportunities for you to get them paying work? However, do not refer them to clients or situations that are not professional, that will be a negative reflection on you.
THE ACTION
Pick someone you already know and would like to spend more time with and reach out to them. Start with an easy one. Send an email, text or message: “Hi Dave, I hope all is well. Want to grab coffee this week? Wednesday and Thursday around 9am are good for me.” Something like that. Be specific about a day and time, don't just say "sometime". Get results. Do it today, right now. Whoever popped into your head when you first read this paragraph is who I would recommend reaching out to. Say “yes!"
Is this confusing? Overwhelming? Feel like you need more direction and want someone to guide you through this process?
© Matt Starr Coaching 2022
Want to learn more about one on one coaching with Matt?
